I Need Help
by LittleBritishPerson
Summary: Cal is pushed over the edge when his depression gets the better of him. Who will be there to pick him up when he falls? *includes self harming and suicide thoughts which viewers may find distressing*
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all,**

 **Remember me?**

 **Sorry I've been away for so long. It's been a stressful and busy few months. My cat sadly but peacefully passed away a month ago which has really taken a toll on me as she was basically my daughter in a way and I've mainly been busy with my book and of course, college and work.**

 **A couple of you messaged me and I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply or review your pieces but I have been reading them : )**

 **I got a couple of guest reviews on my last story saying about Cal having severe depression/mental health problems which I thought was a good idea, so I'm going to write about that and the other guest saying how that there were too many stories based around Ethan. No offence, but I really didn't know what to think about that so this story will not be about Ethan, but he is a part of the storyline.**

 **Enjoy.**

Cal sat in his car, on a pier with deep water in front of him. He had been feeling depressed for weeks but he didn't make the effort to talk to anyone about it. He didn't feel like Ethan particularly cared either.

He had tears rolling down his face. Revving his car with his hand on the handbrake, all he had to do was put it down then it would all be over.

 **Two hours earlier.**

Cal sat in the men's lavatory with a pair of scissors he took from a tray. He rested the scissors on his scarred stomach. He couldn't use his arms because he wears short sleeves for work and he didn't want people talking.

In cubicles, Connie walked up to Ethan.

"Ethan, where's Dr Knight? You're meant to be shadowing him." Connie asked.

"I don't know. I turned my back for only a minute." Ethan answered.

"You know what he's been like these last few weeks! All the mistakes he keeps making. It's like his mind is somewhere else! Tell him to get his act together or he can see me in my office at the end of the day. Do I make myself clear?" Connie almost shouted. Everyone watched in silence.

"Yes, Mrs Beauchamp." Ethan stuttered slightly. Connie walked away as Ethan watched her. David walked up to Ethan and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" David asked quietly. Ethan looked at him.

"Yes, I'm fine. But I don't think Cal will be." Ethan sighed in frustration then walked off.

 **Half an hour later.**

Cal made an appearance as he walked into cubicles.

"Cal? Where have you been?" Charlie asked him.

"I was-" Cal was cut off.

"Do you have any idea what has been going on? Where were you?" Charlie asked, almost desperately.

"I was, around." Was all Cal could say.

"Around?" Ethan has been getting it in the neck from Connie because you keep doing disappearing acts." Charlie answered, almost sounding cross.

"I'm sorry. I'll go find him." Cal spoke miserably.

"Cal. You haven't been yourself in weeks. What's the matter?" Charlie asked, suddenly sounding calm. Cal was a bit disappointed that Charlie was the only one that noticed.

"Nothing. I'm fine." Cal answered than walked away.

Another half an hour later, Cal walked into the staffroom to find Ethan in his lunch break. Ethan looked up from a book he was reading and saw Cal.

"Ethan, I'm-" Cal was once again cut off.

"I don't want to hear it, Caleb." Ethan huffed then looked back at his book.

"I just needed a moments peace." Cal sat at the table opposite Ethan.

"That's all you ever need, Cal!" Ethan almost shouted. Cal was stunned a little.

"I have had Mrs Beauchamp down my neck, asking me where you keep going and I've tried covering for you but now I've just given up." Ethan answered. He stood up and went to leave.

"Ethan." Cal called. Ethan stopped in the doorway and looked back at Cal.

"I'm sorry. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me." Cal spoke desperately. Ethan watched his brother.

"I need help." Cal spoke, almost sounding like he was going to cry. Ethan didn't notice this.

"Tell me something I don't know." Ethan bit back then left. Leaving Cal with his head in his hands, holding back his tears.

 **Sorry this is a bit of a rubbish start. I've never suffered with severe depression so I don't really know how it all works and sorry if it seems a bit rushed. I'm in a hurry as I've got work.**

 **Hopefully Chapter 2 will be released sometime this week where I will be bringing in some mental health issues. Maybe Tuesday but we will see. See you all soon : )**


	2. Chapter 2

Cal hasn't been seen since his and Ethan's rough discussion in the staffroom around forty minutes ago. The thought of Cal hasn't entered Ethan's mind at all. He just wanted to forget about his brother and put himself first. He was done covering for Cal, lying to Mrs Beauchamp and Charlie.

Towards the two hours before the end of his and Cal's shift, he did eventually start to wonder: Did Cal really need Ethan's help? Ethan sighed in frustration then went to search the ED for Cal.

He looked everywhere, until finally he tried the staffroom, sort of hoping Cal was still there but he wasn't. Ethan was about to leave the room till he noticed a piece of paper sticking out of Cal's locker.

Ethan walked over to it and pulled it out where he started to read it. His facial expression going from normal to sheer worry. Charlie walked in a saw Ethan's pale face.

"Ethan? You okay?" Charlie asked. Ethan quickly looked at Charlie then the letter again.

"Yes. I'm fine." Ethan quickly spoke as he pulled out his phone and tried to call Cal but there was no answer.

"Damn it." Ethan muttered. Charlie watched him. Ethan eventually looked at Charlie properly.

"You haven't seen Cal, have you?" Ethan asked.

"No, I haven't. Why?" Charlie asked as David, the quiet nurse walked in.

"I have a feeling he's about to do something stupid, if he hasn't done it already." Ethan spoke as he gave Charlie the little letter. Charlie had no words, he just opened his mouth slightly in shock.

"Are you talking about Cal?" David asked.

"Yes." Ethan answered.

"He left the ED about twenty minutes ago. I assumed it was the end of his shift." David spoke.

"Thank you, David!" Ethan spoke then quickly left the room with Charlie following him.

"Ethan. Ethan!" Charlie called after the young doctor. Ethan kept walking towards the doors.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked.

"I think I know where he's gone. Can you tell Mrs Beauchamp that he's gone missing?" Ethan asked as he walked out the ED.

"Don't worry about her. I'm coming with you." Charlie spoke.

"Charlie, I can't ask you to do that." Ethan spoke as they stood outside the ED.

"You both need the support." Charlie smiled a little as did Ethan. They both then noticed Jez and Iain standing by their ambulance near the entrance. Ethan quickly walked over to them with Charlie following.

"You alright, Ethan?" Iain asked as he noticed how panicked he looked.

"I need your help." Ethan spoke.

"What's up?" Iain asked. Ethan didn't want to say it but he had too.

"I think Cal's thinking about committing suicide so I need to get to him." Ethan spoke. Iain and Jez struggled to take it but snapped out of it.

"Get in the back." Iain spoke. Ethan and Charlie quickly ran into the back of the ambulance and jumped in where they sat and put on their seat belts.

"Where do you think he is, Ethan?" Iain raised his voice to the back of the ambulance.

"Colneith Bay." Ethan answered.

The blue lights and sirens were turned on as the ambulance quickly drove to the important location.

 **If you can remember, Colneith Bay was quite important to our boys. Hope you can remember how, if not, I'm not saying till the next chapter which will probably be released later tonight or tomorrow.**

 **See you soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

The ambulance began to slow down as it got on to the top of the beach. Ethan jumped out of the ambulance before it even had time to stop. The cold air from the beach hit him as he stood there in his scrubs. He started to wish he brought his coat out but he didn't care about that right now. He spun round and round, looking and looking. He jogged along the edge of the hill on the beach with Iain, Charlie and Jez following far behind him.

Ethan stopped as he noticed a black Audi stopped on a short pier with the engine still on. Ethan quickly ran down the hill and jogged over to the pier with Iain, Jez and Charlie standing on the hill.

Ethan ran up to the car and pulled the handle to find the door was locked. Ethan quickly tapped on the window repeatedly with the palm of his hand.

"Cal?" Ethan sounded muffled from Cal's side of the car. Cal didn't look at him. He kept looking ahead.

"Cal, please open the door." Ethan pleaded. Cal placed his finger on the central locking button and unlocked all the doors. Ethan quickly opened the door then sat in the car, closing the door.

The two brothers sat in silence for a while before Cal began to talk.

"How did you know where I was?" Cal asked, still looking ahead.

"I didn't need to know." Ethan sighed as he looked at Cal.

"This was mum's favourite place. It's all I could think about. I wanted to feel safe." Cal ran a tear down his face as he turned the car off. Much to Ethan's relief.

"What's wrong, Cal? Please tell me." Ethan asked.

"You'll think I'm stupid." Cal looked down.

"No I won't. What is it?" Ethan asked again.

"I've been hearing Dad's voice." Cal answered. Ethan sat there, he didn't know what to say.

"How do you mean?" Ethan asked.

"He wants me to join him." Cal answered sadly.

"No Cal. He doesn't." Ethan spoke honestly.

"He does, Ethan!" Cal raised his voice. Annoyed that Ethan didn't seem to believe him.

"Cal, you have to ignore him. He was a vile man." Ethan spoke as he went along with it. He had to believe Cal.

"I can't, it's so hard." Cal almost cried.

"Cal, how long have you been feeling like this?" Ethan asked.

"Few weeks, maybe a couple of months." Cal shrugged.

"And what has Dad been saying to you?" Ethan asked.

"That I'm a waste of space. Him and both our mum's are dead because of me." Cal explained.

"That's why you've been feeling down?" Ethan asked. Cal nodded.

"I'm sorry, Cal. You said you needed help and I ignored that." Ethan sighed sadly.

"Let's get you back to the hospital, okay?" Ethan asked. Cal hesitated.

"I'll be with you." Ethan smiled. Cal eventually looked at him and smiled back.

"I'll just go tell the others what we are going to do. Get out the car and I'll drive us back." Ethan smiled then got out the car.

" _Drive forward. You know you want to._ " Cal and Ethan's dad's voice made an appearance.

" _Be a man._ " Cal tried to ignore his father's voice but it was so hard.

" _Cal, turn the car on now!_ " His father's voice grew louder. Cal did nothing, he covered his ears with his hands.

" _Waste of space. Horrible. Evil. Useless. Turn on the car!_ " His evil voice ran through Cal's head. He turned on the engine.

As Ethan walked back to the others, he heard the car engine. He turned round to see it revving.

"CAL!" Ethan shouted then ran back to the car with Jez and Iain following him.

"Cal!" Ethan continued to shout as he stood in front of the car. "Don't listen to him, Cal!" Ethan shouted but could barely be heard by Cal because of the noise from the car and his father's loud words. Ethan had his hands on the warm bonnet.

"ETHAN!" Iain shouted as he ran towards Ethan and the car as Jez darted ahead of him.

" _Drive, Cal!_ " Their father demanded.

"But, Ethan-" Cal cried but was interrupted.

" _He'll move. Just drive! You'll never hear from me again if you drive forward._ " Their father demanded once more. Cal pressed harder on the gas pedal with the revs growing louder. Cal looked into Ethan's teary eyes as he still didn't move from the front of the car.

"Cal! Don't do it! Don't listen to him! Listen to me!" Ethan shouted. He believed Cal now he is seeing him suffer.

" _Ethan doesn't need you. No one needs you. Drive. Forward. NOW!_ " Their father shouted over Ethan. Cal shut his eyes and placed his hand on the handbrake.

Jez quickly wrapped his arm around Ethan and pulled him to the side, out of the way as Cal threw the handbrake down. The car bolted towards the end of the pier. Ethan and everyone watched breathlessly as Jez still gripped on to him as the car drove off the pier and landed in the deep, cold water.

 **My apologises, this wasn't as dramatic as I hoped, unless I'm being modest or something hehe.**

 **Will Cal survive? That's the more important thing.**

 **See you all in the next chapter : )**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all,**

 **Sorry I haven't been saying it but thank you all for you reviews, follows, favourites and guesses on what could happen in the next chapters. They are such great ideas and I love reading them all.**

Ethan felt his legs go weak as Cal's car slowly sank into the deep water. Jez, who still had hold off Ethan, gripped him tightly. Iain ran on to the deck, up to Jez and Ethan as Jez lowered Ethan on the floor. Iain looked at Jez then took off his paramedic jacket and began to run towards the end of the pier.

"Iain, don't!" Jez shouted as Iain dived off the pier. "Damn it." Jez looked at Ethan then also ran towards the end of the pier and jumped in the water after Iain. Charlie ran up to Ethan and kneeled down in front of him.

"Ethan? Ethan." Charlie placed his hands on Ethan's shoulders as he tried to get Ethan's attention but he kept staring at the water in front of him.

"Cal." Ethan mumbled quietly. Charlie frowned then turned around and looked at the water also.

Ethan and Charlie sat in silence. There was no sound. No splashing sound from Ian, Jez or Cal.

"He's dead." Ethan shuddered a quiet breath. Charlie looked back at him.

"He's dead." Ethan repeated. Charlie didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say.

"Ethan." Ethan heard his name being called but it was quite faint.

"Ethan!" He heard it again but it was louder. Ethan looked around. He slowly stood up and looked to his left. In the misty water, he saw two people. It became clearer and clearer as they got closer to the surface. These two people were dragging someone.

"Ethan! Charlie! We got him!" It was Iain. They have Cal. Ethan quickly ran back the way he came and ran down, as fast as he could to the ocean with Charlie jogging behind him. Jez and Iain slowly lowered Cal's upper body on the cold, wet sand. Iain kneeled down and placed two fingers on Cal's neck for a pulse. Jez stood there with a worried face.

"He's not breathing." Iain whispered to Jez before Ethan approached them. Iain immediately began chest compressions.

"Come on, Cal." Iain panted. Ethan ran up to them but Charlie held him back. Iain attempted mouth to mouth resuscitation.

"I'll go get an oxygen mask and some blankets." Jez suggested as he ran back to the ambulance. Ethan broke free of Charlie's grip and collapsed on his knees next to Cal. He took over from Iain and started doing chest compressions. Iain sat on his knees looking up at Charlie as he was tempted to stop Ethan but he watched Ethan's determined face.

Suddenly Cal coughed up water and began breathing heavily. Ethan sighed in relief as he slumped backwards on his knees.

Jez returned with some blankets as they placed them over Cal. Iain placed one round his shoulders as did Jez.

"Cal? It's me, Ethan. Can you hear me?" Ethan looked down at Cal, who was in and out of consciousness.

"We need to get him to the hospital. This could be serious." Ethan instructed.

"He'll only have mild hypothermia." Jez mentioned.

"I think it's a lot more than that." Ethan spoke as he didn't take his eyes off Cal.

 **See how I didn't do any hero Ethan. Not gonna lie, it was killing me inside xD**

 **For the next chapter, should I write about Iain and Jez saving Cal from their point of view or should I just end the story in the next chapter?**


	5. Chapter 5

"Iain, don't!" Iain heard and ignored Jez's protest as he jumped off the pier and dived into the ice, cold water after his friend's motor.

Iain received a massive shock to the system as he hit the water but he didn't think about him, he decided to quickly swim down to Cal's sinking car.

"Damn it." Jez muttered under his breath. He then looked at Ethan on his knees, staring ahead, before running after Iain. He dived into the water with a running jump.

Like Iain, he also felt the freezing temperatures. The water was deep, but also surprisingly dark since its daylight. He swam down, he could just about see Iain.

Iain approached the car as it hit the bottom of the sea. Iain tried opening the door, he forced the handle by pulling it hard but it didn't open. He tapped on the window with his palm, on the front passenger side. He could just about see Cal but couldn't tell him he was conscious or not. Iain then pressed up on top of the car and swam over it, to the other side of the car.

Iain tried to open up Cal's door but the car was locked. He could see Cal a bit better though. He thumped on the window again. Cal looked at him but made no effort to get out the car. Cal then looked straight ahead in front of him. The water got in the car, it was up to his neck.

Iain couldn't say to Cal "unlock the car," otherwise, he would risk drowning. He could only do one thing; him and Jez had to wait till the inside of the car would fill up with water before attempting to break the window.

As soon as Iain noticed the inside was filled up, past Cal's head, him and Jez elbowed the windows to break them open. Fighting against the water and its force.

Jez managed to break the window and unlock the passenger side door. He opened it and swam into the car. He unlocked the driver's car and Iain also opened the door. Jez unbuckled Cal's seatbelt and Iain placed his arms around Cal and went to pull Cal's deadweight body out the car but something was stopping Cal leaving the car: his foot was stuck in between the clutch and brake pedal.

Jez picked up on this immediately and pulled Cal's foot out of the pedals. Iain successfully pulled Cal out the car. Jez swam out next to Iain as he held Cal from behind, kicking and paddling upwards as hard and quick as he could.

They all reached the top with Jez and Iain gasping for air. They were a lot further out than they thought. It was misty but they could just about see the beach. Iain held onto Cal with one arm and paddled with the other with Jez supported Cal's other side.

"Ethan!" Iain yelled. He had to tell Ethan, even though he wasn't sure if Cal was alive or not. They felt the sand underneath the water and began to walk towards the shore.

"Ethan!" Iain called after him again. "Ethan! Charlie! We got him!" Iain continued as he and Jez dragged Cal onto the sand. Iain stopped shouting when he saw Ethan and Charlie run towards them. They lowered Cal's body on the cold sand.

Iain kneeled down and placed two fingers on Cal's neck for a pulse. Jez stood there with a worried face.

"He's not breathing." Iain quickly whispered to Jez before Ethan approached them. Iain immediately began chest compressions.

 **And that would of continued on as normal from Chapter 4. Hope you liked it.**

 **Sorry, it wasn't as dramatic and intense as I thought it would of been but I hope you guys disagree with me hehe.**

 **One more chapter to go, which I will release tomorrow if I have the time. See you soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey all,**

 **I am currently writing this at 1am as I just submitted a three page paper for college so I am up to date on everything. Yay! I should go to bed really as I technically need to be up in six hours for a nine hour day at college but I was inspired to write this up.**

 **Time for the final chapter. Might be short but it shouldn't be long in my opinion.**

Ethan walked slowly into resus. He stood by the door, watching Cal look in another direction, in a hospital gown. Connie walked up to him.

"He's stable but he seems very confused." Connie spoke softly, almost kindly.

"I think we need to get psych down here." Ethan advised, not taking his eyes off Cal.

"I'll go call them. You can go talk to him but try not to get him worked up." Connie spoke.

"Thank you." Ethan spoke back as Connie walked out of resus. Ethan walked over to Cal's trolley.

"Hey. So I hear the car might be a write off" Ethan tried to crack a joke but Cal didn't look at him let alone laugh.

"Come on, Cal. Talk to me." Ethan sighed as he leaned on the trolley bars. Ethan suddenly thought about it.

"Is he talking to you? Dad?" Ethan asked as Cal suddenly looked at him. Ethan knew the answer was yes.

"We're going to help you, Cal. I promise." Ethan smiled lightly. Cal smiled slightly back at him.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." Cal choked a sob. Ethan looked at him with sympathy.

"I'm so sorry." Cal cried as he began to lean towards Ethan. Ethan curled his arms around Cal's shoulders and pulled him into a hug with Cal's head resting under Ethan's chin.

"It's okay. It's okay." Ethan whispered with a tear as Cal began to sob.

"Make him leave me alone, Ethan. Make it go away." Cal cried.

"We will. We will get rid of him for good." Ethan soothed Cal. They stopped hugging as Cal laid his head back on his pillow.

"Just rest. It'll all be okay." Ethan smiled as Cal shut his eyes and fell asleep.

Ethan watched his sleeping brother before turning his head towards the sound of the resus doors opening. It was Iain and Jez. They both still looked wet and cold. Ethan walked towards them.

"How is he?" Iain asked as he cuddled the blue, cotton blanket around his shoulder and upper body.

"Alive." Ethan answered as he turned back to look at Cal. He looked back at Iain and Jez.

"Thanks to you two." Ethan smiled a little. Iain and Jez smiled back in relief.

"Honestly, Ethan. When we had to resuscitate him again in the ambo-" Iain couldn't continue his sentence.

"But you got his heart going. You guys saved him twice today." Ethan stated.

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Jez asked.

"Physically, yes but mentally? It'll get there." Ethan smiled a little.

"Right, well you tell him that he owes us a pint when he is better." Jez smiled as him and Iain walked out of resus. Ethan chuckled before returning back to his brother's side.

He watched how Cal was so still, so peaceful. Today was a day he never wanted to happen again.

"It'll get better. I promise." Ethan repeated his promise as he continued to watch Cal.

 **Going to end this here. Not my best last chapter but like I said, it was around 1am (nearly 2am) when I wrote this hehe.**

 **I was going to write about Cal going into some kind of secondary drowning or his heart stopped and Iain resuscitates him in the ambulance but I thought I would leave that imagination to you guys.**

 **I may not been doing much writing on here as things are a bit busy right now (I'm going to apply and study for a private investigation license which I am absolutely thrilled about but it's going to take pretty much all of the spare time I have around work and college) so I do apologise if I'm not very active on here but I will try my best to review as often as I can.**

 **Take care, my lovelies and happy holidays if you don't hear from me before!**


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